Charles: How was the mission, sir? Are your hands okay?
Haytham: Things became rather messy. Went well though.
Charles: Well you deserve a break sir. Here’s some sandwiches for lunch.
Haytham: Thank you, Charles.
Connor: Looks like a pile of dead bodies had been gathered at the docks.
Connor: No one has seen the murderer. But I saw you. I guess…
Connor: You could say you got caught red handed.
Connor: You just gave me a…
Connor: Knuckle Sandwich.
Ziio: How could this happen… What are you doing?
Haytham: Lighting a bomb…
Ziio: HAYTHAM NO!
What do you call someone who is obsessed with the moon
On my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”
when none of ur internet friends are online
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
"Abomination? Abomelettenation - geddit?”
"That’s bad, love. Even by my standards. And my standards for puns aren’t high.”
or: the story of how Hawke was banned from the kitchen (and egg-related puns) forever.
Don’t listen to Anders, the pun is beautiful.
Oh my gods.
Waldo from the Where’s Waldo books
He wears stripes
because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
i’m gonna hit something.
I don’t know if it’s been done yet
Best use of the meme hands down.
*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*
What a turn on.
funerals are so depressing. i want a parade when i die. cupcakes. airhorns. dancing. maybe even a murder mystery game with me as the person who was murdered.
you want to put the fun back in funeral