Have some Anders talking dirty on your dash. You deserve it
Mark of the Assassin Banter:
Anders: Why did Hawke think it was a good idea to bring me to some stuffy Orlesian hunt? I hate these things.
Aveline: You and me both.
Anders: Are you… actually agreeing with me?
Anders: I thought that was against some kind of policy.
Aveline: Well, it’s so rare for you to say something that isn’t crazy, I thought I should encourage it.
Anders: What is it with you archers and your grandfathers’ bows?
Anders: Did none of you get along with your fathers?
Sebastian: What is he talking about?
"No wonder they call this the dragon age, the bloody things are everywhere."
“(Frustrated) There’s nothing a mage can do to prove himself- everyone needs to be protected from you. The end!”
i love howden’s work on anders. i honestly never thought that i’d be able to accept it—tempered as it is, a tone in some ways scooped hollow by the enormity not of his own emotions but of other forces, yet still framed by anders’s humor, anders’s bittersweet desires—because i also love ellis’s work on anders. he so captures this younger man, all his frustrations and wrong-footed jokes, feelings unanswered and unbalanced by wisdom, bursts of anger and unexpected tenderness. anders is so much more than just funny. he’s full of sound and fury, quiet admissions that aren’t an easy pulse to pin down, and that’s on purpose; he’s full of these moments, too, when it all comes tumbling out, when the tight hold he lives with flies loose, when you can just imagine the way he cuts off at the end and looks over his shoulder, knowing too well what—or who—comes after such an outburst. his frustrations, his despair, what he admits and what he doesn’t. how it all seems so cocky and so cheerful, right up until it cracks and suddenly it isn’t. and the anger in this is so young still, but with a depth of conviction behind the words. somewhere between it’s so unfair and its counterpart, this is an injustice.
it’s all he’s known. it’s so much less than he wants. and that’s how it’s been, for so many years. the end. only for this story, it’s actually just the beginning.
“(Utterly outraged) Does it also come with suspicion, condemnation, and the loss of all personal freedom?!?”
Hey do you remember when I only used to care about myself?
Or when I let emotions with no thought or anything else?
Or how I used to think I was alone.
it buzzes in my brain—
And now? My thoughts aren’t even my own.
I think this mortal world is driving me insane.
Hey o you remember when I could sit and sing and smile, just like them?
You don’t understand.
Or when you helped me find and kill me “peaceful friend?”
Any of my plans.
Allowed to walk in my shoes—
How could you know
the pain inside
that’s holding my noose.
I’m fight –fight-fighting who I am. These blue lights take me over and over and over again.
I still remember our first kiss you know.
I will never approve of this obsession though.
Your support means the world to me.
If you cared about his health or happiness, you’d let him be.
What was I saying? I seem to be losing my train of thought….
It would be better if you left, and forgot about him.
My heart would break if I forgot.
You’re ruining my reasoning for—
If I lost you, I would lose every piece of myself that I have left that belongs to me and no one else.
— Everything I’m doing, can’t you see it’s a battle of death and health? This cause needs a champion, I can’t stop for you or anyone else.
I’m losing control of myself (my cause).
What’s the death toll of this plan (of this pause)?
Please take me back to who I was—I was at peace (was pure).
You’re the key to my freedom—you’re the cure (death of me).
Are these my emotions? (Or are they mine?)
I’m just a monster (just a monster).
Give it time.
I was sorting out DA2 audio files and THIS happened :-D
Oh, kinky. :o
Sorry, not sorry.
And I accidentally deleted the audio. Because I’m stupid
OH MY GOD :D:D:D:D:D:D
fuck my life
They’re finally here! After more than 14,000 files, an hour of conversions, and a whole lot of organization, I’m extremely pleased to present the first of a long line of audio releases straight from Borderlands 2. By popular demand, I ripped and compiled the voices of Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zer0 and Handsome Jack first. I’m planning on getting Tiny Tina, Claptrap, and Angel up tomorrow, and over the course of the week I will release voice clips from Roland, Mordecai, Lilith, and Brick; as well as NPCs such as Tannis, Scooter, Hammerlock, Moxxi, and the rest. I’ll even release the lines from the baddies!
ANDERS: Shut up.
SO SEBBY DARLING HOW DO THOSE WORDS TASTE IN RETROSPECT?
SEBASTIAN: If you act with a true heart and a noble cause, then it doesn’t matter what it takes to succeed.
Do they taste like delicious irony?
And by a ‘noble cause’ Sebastian obviously means ‘my cause’.
Excerpt from Fifty Shades of Howe
First in the Whos, the Whys and the Whats Series
BASED ON A TRUE STORY OF LOVE, LUST AND LUXURIOUS LOCKS IN THE DEEP ROADS
He stands before me, his nose larger than ever. Nathaniel Howe, laced up in tight leathers, with his lean, magnificent, polished bow in one hand. My inner Justice doesn’t approve of the way he makes me feel while my subconscious tells him to suck on a fireball.
Oh, but I want Howe to suck on my fireballs. Maker, he sets them aflame!
‘Anders,’ he says. I bite my lip. I know I’m bound to say something stupid, or start babbling about cats again. He sounds so much sexier than he ever did. Has he been eating rocks down here in the Deep Roads? It’s like cobblestones and bowstring calluses, like liquid sex.
‘The Deep Roads just got deeper,’ I say.
Maker, I’m such a fool! I could have just mentioned the plight of the mages and been more of a flirt! I blush, while a hidden breeze blows Nathaniel’s silky hair around his face. If anything I just have to know how he keeps it so shiny.
‘You look like you’ve lost weight, Anders,’ Nathaniel adds. ‘What have you eaten today?’
‘Oh…’ I bite my lower lip. ‘Just a sandwich.’
My inner Justice tells me I’m wasting important time we could be collecting sela petrae and threatens to take over. But Maker, howe he affects me…down there.
In my deep roads.
I solemnly swear that this is the last fic I shall ruin.
MORE PRAISE for FIFTY SHADES OF HOWE
‘You wanna know who taught Ser Fifty Shades all his moves? This wild stallion right here, that’s who. So, wanna take a ride on a real bucking bronto tonight?’ — Oghren
‘This book’s a paragon of its kind, all right. Only sodding trouble being I can’t figure out what its kind even is.’ — Oghren
‘What you’re smelling is exactly what you think you’re smelling. Same goes for Fifty Shades, too.’ — Oghren
‘Oh yeah? Well my inner golem’s doing the Remigold right now!’ — Oghren
‘Heh.’ — Oghren
‘Everything you hear about warden stamina—it’s alllllll true.’ — Oghren
‘Pretty sure I know what the electricity trick is. Singed more than just my braids, too. Those short and curlies never did grow back the way they used to look. Heh, they’re just shorter’n curlier now!’ — Oghren
‘Not enough dwarven pounding in this book, if you know what I mean.’ — Oghren
‘I’m talking about nug-humping deep-roadsing anvil-smashing hammer-swinging dingle-singing good times.’ — Oghren
‘Burp.’ — Oghren
‘Who are you again?’ — Oghren
“Sorry, I’ll pass.” - Anders
How can you pass on my delicious sandwiches, Anders. D:
I kid, I think they may have planned to make the companions equipable at one point. (Or I could be wrong. But before I found this one, I found a clip of Varric saying he wouldn’t give up Bianca. If anyone wants I can upload that one too.)
Anders is passing on a threesome. Dammit Anders get between Hawke and Fenris.